“Quit interrupting me!”
If there is one glaring difference in the selling styles of men and women, interruptions is it. Body language experts, Allan and Barbara Pease, found that while men will interrupt women 76% of the time during a conversation, rarely will one man interrupt another man.
Yet the irony is that men hate to be interrupted by women. You can almost see the men seethe to control the conversation again. Ever watch Chris Matthews on MSNBC’s “Hardball”? No one can get a word in edgewise. People scream at their TV sets, “Will you shut up and let her answer the question without interrupting?”
The sales lesson for men selling to women? Hold your tongue. Even if you think the woman has stopped speaking, count to five before you speak. Maybe she’s trying to gather her thoughts. Maybe she simply needs to get another breath of air before continuing. Give her a chance.
But what if you’re a woman selling to a man? No, it’s not fair that men will continually interrupt you, but when a man is speaking, don’t interrupt him. Let him get it out of his system.
Yada yada yada View yada yada yada
Another big difference between men and women is the length of the conversation. Men are bottom line conversationalists, while women use conversation to build relationships. That’s why a woman should let a man talk without interrupting him. He won’t talk long, your meeting will be shorter, and you will get to the bottom line fast.
When men are selling to women, relax. True, your conversations will be longer, but women will give a more complete and detailed picture of what it is they want and what they expect. In other words, what they’re buying and what you better be selling.
Brain studies show men’s listening centers are smaller and in different parts of the brain than women’s.Men, they found, can only single task conversations, while women can multi-task conversations. That’s why women can watch The View, and men can’t. If there are several groups of women in a room talking, one woman can listen in on every conversation – even from across the room! – and understand what’s being said. Men, on the other hand, are looking for the nearest exit.
If two saleswomen take a man to lunch, it might be wise to designate one woman to lead the conversation and another to watch the man’s eyes to see when they begin to glaze over. Michael Gurian, author of Leadership and the Sexes: Using Gender Science to Create Success in Business, said that “men are more apt to zone out in a meeting since their brains are designed to enter a ‘rest state’ more easily than women. In that same meeting, women may run off topic before returning to the task at hand because they’re born multi-taskers.” If the designated watcher at the lunch sees the man drifting off to la-la land, she can signal the lead to get to the point.
Don’t you make that face at me buster!
A decisive advantage women have over men is in facial cue recognition. Jean Haner, in The Wisdom of Your Face, discusses the thousands of possible gestures a person can make with their face. Women, she said, are much more adept than men at recognizing a raised eyebrow as being dubious, a forced smile as being bored, or a tilted head as holding a question.
Men, she said, never pick up on these subtle silent signals, plow through the presentation, and then walk out thinking the deal is theirs. If a woman had been his selling partner, she would have noticed the changes in the client’s behaviors and warned the salesman the deal was not done, and more proof would be required.
Words are important
The preciseness of word selection is a strong characteristic for men in sales, especially when it comes to anything technical or legal. And especially if they’re selling to other men. Men pick their words carefully.Each word is important. Men speak literally, women speak emotionally.
One of the knocks about President Barack Obama, considered the greatest orator of our times, is his extremely measured use of words. Unlike any of his predecessors, he uses teleprompters (not notes on the lectern) on even simple speeches before small groups. When speaking impromptu, President Obama’s hesitation while he selects the right words causes awkwardness in his delivery, and a question of confidence in his listeners.
The president, perhaps because of his legal training, or because he knows his every word is being recorded, weighs everything he says. He, like most men, feels that the wrong words can lead to costly blunders and errors. (Remember his off-the-cuff gaff at the California fund raiser about people in Pennsylvania during the campaign? He does.)
So if you’re a woman selling to a man, be efficient with your words and understand that men will take them literally – and hold you to them.
Which sex sells best?
Neither. They’re just different. Each has advantages the other doesn’t. Each has to play to his or her strengths, be aware of their weaknesses, and adjust and adapt to the customers they’re selling to.
The ideal situation would be to have sales teams, pairing a man and a woman. But that’s not practical in most situations. However, if your service or product requires a long selling cycle, if your client has both men and women evaluating your wares, and if the sell is a major purchase, you would be advised to swallow your pride of thinking you can Gary Cooper-it and go it along. Even fighter pilots have a navigator to help them reach their destination.
Best advice when selling to the opposite sex? Meet the customer at his or her gender. Don’t force them to come to yours. They won’t.
About The Author:
© 2009 Jerry Hocutt. Read more articles by Jerry at his blog http://footinthedoor.squarespace.com/journal and listen to a free preview of his CD/MP3 audio program Cold Calling for Cowards® at http://www.footinthedoor.com/freepreview.html.
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